Why understanding behavior is the most underrated skill in sales

There’s often a performance gap in sales teams.

Most sales leaders can identify their top sellers. They’re usually the ones who carry the majority of the team’s numbers and continue to perform when budgets tighten, buyers become cautious, and market conditions shift.

What many leaders struggle to explain is why this handful of sellers consistently outperform everyone else. After all, they have access to the same CRM, the same buyer data, and often the same training as the rest of the team. So, what are they doing differently?

Many organizations assume the answer lies in better processes or stronger product knowledge. But bestselling Author, Sales Trainer, and Negotiation Coach Gavin Presman, has found that the difference is often behavioral adaptability.

Top sales performers understand something many sales training programmes overlook: sales is fundamentally a human endeavour. They know success comes from reading other people, adapting to different styles, and knowing how to stay effective when pressure builds.

Why top performers don't rely on a single sales style 

Many sales teams invest heavily in developing communication, influencing, and negotiation skills. Yet all these capabilities depend on one thing: understanding behavior. One of the biggest mistakes sellers often make is assuming everyone approaches a conversation the way they would. Before a seller can read and adapt to a buyer, they first need to recognize that people think, communicate, and make decisions differently.

• A highly conceptual seller may become frustrated by a buyer who wants more detail before making a decision.
• Someone who enjoys exploring possibilities may lose patience with a stakeholder who wants a clear process and practical next steps.
• A seller who makes decisions quickly may interpret a cautious buyer as resistant or disengaged.
  

In reality, neither person is wrong. They're simply approaching the situation from different behavioral preferences.

Eight Aspects of behavior that shape people's communication preferences 

Top performers recognize these differences quickly. They understand that a buyer who asks endless questions isn't necessarily trying to slow the process down. They may simply need more information before they feel comfortable moving forward. Likewise, a stakeholder who challenges every idea isn't necessarily being resistant. They may be trying to understand the risks before committing.

As Gavin says:

"The moment we stop judging behavior and start understanding it, our ability to build rapport, influence others, and navigate conversations improves dramatically."

The more a seller understands their own preferences and communication style, the easier it becomes to recognize the different ways of being in others and intentionally flex their approach based on what would be most effective for the person they are speaking to.

It’s not about becoming someone else in sales conversations. It's about understanding your own style well enough to consciously dial up or down different behaviors to meet buyers where they are and build trust in a way that feels authentic. This is one of the most valuable skills a seller can develop.

Why self-awareness is the foundation of high-performance

Understanding behavior is only part of what top performers do well. Gavin explains that most people are surprisingly good at reading and responding to others when conditions are favorable. They listen carefully, notice subtle cues, and naturally adapt their communication style. That is, until pressure enters the equation.

When a high-stakes deal is at risk, targets are missed, or forecasts become uncertain, many sellers instinctively push harder. They reinforce their value proposition, create urgency, and focus on moving the deal forward. This is where adaptability becomes essential for sales excellence.

Gavin explains:

"People often overplay their natural strengths under pressure. Behaviors that normally help them succeed can become less effective when relied on too heavily."

A seller who is usually logical may become argumentative, creating resistance rather than confidence. Another may become so focused on process and detail that they miss opportunities to build trust and momentum. Instead of focusing on the buyer's needs, their attention shifts to the outcome they need to achieve making conversations less adaptive and more transactional.

Self-awareness in sales helps sellers recognize these patterns and choose a more effective response. Rather than becoming rigid under pressure, they can pause, refocus on the buyer, and adapt their approach to build trust and move conversations forward. While less self-aware sellers tend to become ineffective under pressure, top performers maintain the behavioral adaptability needed to navigate complexity, strengthen relationships, and keep conversations moving forward. This ability to stay effective under pressure is often what separates them from everyone else.

The behavioural edge behind highly effective sales conversations

One of the most underrated sales skills is making a buyer feel fully understood. This usually starts with listening and asking really good follow-up questions. At first glance, this sounds obvious. Yet when sales conversations are reviewed, Gavin sees many sellers making assumptions too quickly and focusing on validating their solution rather than understanding the problem. In other words, they're listening for opportunities to pitch rather than opportunities to learn.

Gavin explains:

"Sellers can't truly listen without listening for who the person is."

Top sales performers aren't simply trying to uncover a problem. They're trying to understand the person behind it:

• What matters to them?
• How do they prefer to make decisions?
• What concerns are influencing their thinking?
• What do they need to feel confident moving forward?

Effective selling inherently requires curiosity about the other person’s style and a genuine desire to understand their perspective. And the more a seller understands behavior, the more curious they become about the individual sitting in front of them.

Learn the key to developing a high-performing sales team from Gavin on The Out of Office Podcast

In this episode of The Out of Office Podcast, Jonathan Cannon and Dr Stewart Desson get practical with Gavin Presman about how understanding behavior can help sales teams build stronger commercial relationships, navigate complex conversations, and perform more consistently under pressure.

Listen to the full conversation to learn:

• Why understanding behavior is often a greater differentiator than sales techniques
• How top performers adapt their approach to different buyers
• Why pressure causes sellers to overplay their strengths
• The role of curiosity, questioning, and listening in building trust
• Practical ways sales leaders can develop more adaptable, effective teams

Listen now.